9...

It is hard to explain the emotions we are experiencing. It is so hard to believe that when we finally let ourselves see what God was planning for us that the joy and excitement would be surrounded by other strange and sometimes painful emotions.

 

We are at 9 months and counting down.  

 

Work was painful last week and I was hit hard with some surprising emotions. I expected to have emotions of various sorts when telling my patients goodbye and I have experienced those in the few patients with whom I have shared this journey. But, as I sat in the Trinity Clinic board meeting and voted on who I wanted to replace me I began to feel quite anxious and almost depressed. I knew months ago that the day would come for me to resign from the board but I did not expect it to "hurt". That same day the executive medical director (my boss and my great spiritual mentor) came to me and said that the clinic was going to reorganize its administrative structure and that since I was leaving they had chosen someone to replace me and that my job was being reallocated.  Again, I had already planned to resign that position at the first of the year but the reality of it was difficult.  It is harder to have something taken from you that it is to give it up freely.

 

If that's not all, during our "trunk or treat" at church I ran into the Ries family (missionaries to Togo for last 10 years) who were there visiting mutual friends. I asked the boys if they were having a good time and Tracy Ries said "they're handling it pretty well for their first Halloween".  For just a second I was frozen because in that same second I realized that this was likely my kids last Halloween and they didn't even know it.

 

After praying about these and many other sudden realizations I was reminded of Ephesians 2:10 "For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

 

I know there is much that we will miss and many more that our children will miss and we are guilty of holding on to things and forgetting that we have been chosen this work and we (Kristin and I) believe with all our hearts that God has chosen this work for us and our family and we will do as he asks and we will seek to serve him whole heartedly without regret.

 

Paul in his letter to the Philippians recounts all the great things he has to boast about.  How great his education was, how great his "job" or position was and then says, "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith."

 

Kristin and I feel blessed to have been called to Rwanda.  He has and will give us the strength that we need. We accept this without regret. Please continue to pray for us.

 

Brian

Fund Raising

Many of you have asked about our fund raising and other needs. We give great praise to God for his willingness and ability to provide.

We have been given our salary by our loving family at Glenwood and already know that with nothing else, we will serve in Rwanda.

 

We are still waiting to hear from individual donors and churches regarding our start-up fund. We need about $45,000-$50,000 for this and this amount includes our first year working fund. This fund will allow us to get to Rwanda and begin language training and allow us to begin being productive in the ministry set forth by our team arriving in Rwanda in Jan 2009.

 

This amount is larger than previously expected. After contacting the shipping company it appears that the global price of fuel has increased container shipping costs by almost 50%. We are hoping to find a single church family or a group of committed donors to join together and donate the 16,000 needed for our container shipping costs.

 

Beginning in 2010 we will need this fund to continue but it will be our work fund for the initiation of our ministry in Ruhengeri. We expect this amount to be around $35,000-$45,000 and continue as an ongoing expense.

 

We are praying for individual donors to begin giving regularly by January 2009 so that we can begin arranging for our container and small needs that are not in our large start up budget such as 220 volt transformers, immunizations, passports, etc.

 

We have moments were we are overwhelmed but as we see God lift up amazing people to come to our aid we consider ourselves loved and blessed.

 

Many of you have called or emailed to let us know that you are praying and supporting us. We pray for you constantly. Praise God for you and your faith.

Brian

Over Exposed

I was talking to a wonderful and precious friend from my past this week and the subject of blogging came up.  I mentioned that it was so hard to be a continuous blogger because you were never sure if your blog should be an "informative" tool or a diary.  If you have read mine you can see that it has been both.  I was thinking this week and writing in my diary (to masculinize it, Logbook) and I thought that I would share this thought and prayer request with you because I know that each of you has been faithful in praying for us and continually shows your faith in us by supporting us.

I have truly enjoyed the class and sermon series at church the last couple weeks.  The series on the parables of Jesus has continued to remind me of what Jesus was and is saying to us today.  

This weeks lesson was on Luke 16:19 and following.  The Rich Man and Lazarus.  

I love the book of Luke.  Besides the fact that it was written by a gentile, and a doctor at that, I love that Luke's focus is the gospel to the poor, the women and the gentiles.  All of which were despicable to the Jews.  I can almost see Luke sitting at his desk writing to this "Theophilus", also a gentile, almost saying to himself, "I cannot believe these Jews did not see this coming".  I cannot believe that they have turned their head in denial of not only Jesus the person but his teaching.  "My research is so conclusive, how can they not see it"?  (That's the doctor in him).

In Luke 16, after Lazarus and the rich man die the rich man is being tormented and asks "I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house... Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment."  This rich man knew Lazarus' name!  He was not a stranger.  The rich man walked by him every day and did not see him.  The poor were everywhere and I'm sure it made Jesus overwhelmed with frustration and sadness that the "Godly" people of that day did not even see them.

We have been having our Sunday night ministry at the Benevolence for over two years now and I confess that before we started this study the people who walked up and down the street with their old bike, shopping carts and 3 layers of clothes in the summer time (so no one will steal them) had no names to me and were invisible.  Now, I see them all.  I see them hiding in their little corners at the stores, malls, and the wooded clearings around town.  I praise God for opening my eyes.  I realize that I was not tuned in to God's view of the world.  Now I know their names.  (It is almost strange to hear your 5 year old, from the back seat of the van, say as we pass the corner at Brookshires, "Hey there's Mary".)  She's the one who hold the sign, will work for food.

My fear, and my point, is that I have been praying that God would not allow my eyes to be covered and my feelings to be callused when we move to Rwanda.  The fear of overexposure because of the mass of people in need is so great that I am afraid of becoming blind to God's plan for me and forgetting to see the forest because of the trees.

Please pray that not only me but Kristin and our children will see God's world through the eyes of Jesus and seek out every chance to serve.  I know it can and will be overwhelming at times but with the compassion and love of Christ we will prevail.  

Lord do not let any of your workers be blinded to the works you have prepared for us.

I want each of you to know that I lift up all those who pray for us and ask great blessings and peace on you.

10...

As a father of two little boys (who are awesome) it is common around our house to hear the Rocket Countdown.  You know, 10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1...BLASTOFF!!!  With a 3 year old it is more like 10...9...8...2...1...BWAST OFF!!!

Well this is were we are at on our journey to Rwanda.  We are now at 10 months and counting down. As you can imagine this means many more long nights and unfortunately a few stress "discussions" between me and my dearest wife.  Yes, we are human and we admit it.

The past month has been so amazing.  God has been so faithful to us and repeatedly shown us his great commitment to answering our prayers.

At the beginning of this month I was becoming a little stressed about our fund raising when an amazing thing happened.  A great man came to me and actually said, "I want to be in charge of your fund raising".  Now, I polled numerous missionaries and none of them have ever had such a thing happen.  God is amazing.  This has given me more peace than I could have imagined at this point in our journey.

After this the missions chair at Glenwood called and said that the missions team and mission elders had agreed that Glenwood would be our sponsoring church.  Within a month we had our entire mission salary committed by the mission committee, Elders and church body.

The same month we had our dear family from Hershey, PA call and invite us to give our mission presentation to the church body.  After 3 days there we felt like we had never left.  The church just took us in and loved us.  They have committed to helping us and we are now awaiting the decision from their budget team about that commitment.

It is not their faithful commitment to the Lord that impresses me because I see that all the time in them but it is the faith that these two bodies have placed in me that not only impresses me but humbles me.  

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

After all this, I was actually able to sit down at a table in Lindale with Marty Koonce and have breakfast.  It was unfortunate that he was here because he had to rush back for the funeral of a close family member.  In spite of this I was so blessed and my heart was filled up with joy and I had the joy of reliving the excitement that we experienced the day we sat in our home with the Koonces and made that monumental and faithful decision to move to Africa.  Praise God and God bless the Koonces, His great tool in this amazing and intricate plan.

Our prayer requests for this month are:

1. our children.  they seem to be adjusting but we are just getting into a busy part of this journey and they do drop hints (likely unintentional) of their thoughts on Rwanda.  They go back and forth between being excited and being sad.  

2.  We continue to seek support for our start up funds and future work funds.  please pray for the churches that are still "pondering" our request for funds.  Rt. 230 Church of Christ, Park Plaza Church of Christ, New Hope Church of Christ, Cinco Ranch Church of Christ and Preston Road Church of Christ.

3.  We want to lift up thanks and praise to God for Glenwood Church of Christ and Rt. 230 Church of Christ for their faith in us.

4.  Peace in our home while we begin to pack and plan for packing our container.

Thank you all so much for your love and faith.  Thank you and bless you.

Brian and Kristin

11 months and counting

Well, as you can tell from the title of this blog we have 11 months remaining until our departure. We hope and plan to work and live in Tyler until August 2009. My last day at work is expected to be August 3, 2009.

The last stage we were aware of in this journey was that of the anxiousness and stress of moving, rethinking our future and the idea of leaving all that we have felt was certain and concrete in our lives (we do realize that none of it was really concrete) but many of us think of our retirement or even our job next week as "certain". Now we begin a new stage. This one has been one that is multifaceted. We have had the anxiousness of the total number of tasks that need completed before our family steps off the plane in Kigali. WOW! Huge number of things. We pray about them often but the pop up faster than we conquer them.

The other phase we are moving in at this point is humility. We have had many great friends over the last 10 years as we move along this path but it has been this decision that has shown us that our lives have touched and been touched by so many others. We have had people whom we have known for many years to just new friends and even just acquaintances stop us to tell us how much they think of our decision. We have had people that I don't even know tell us how they are inspired by our plans and faith. We have had great leaders say that they would commit themselves to us in prayer. We have had great friends commit financially. We have had people even come to us and say that they wanted to take some of our burdens away and do some of the things that are stressing us the most.

I have been so thankful that God has seen fit to humble me in this way rather than what I deserve, to be humiliated by God. I give great thanks to God for showing us others who want to walk this walk with us and to carry some of our burdens. It has made me feel that we are not alone in this journey and I am beginning to see that I am not alone in this and I am just the forward extension of the dreams and hopes of many others. I know that in my nature I may fail to meet expectations and I will be weak and even petty and shallow sometimes but by the grace of God I will be faithful, willing and able to do all that He asks of me.

I say thanks to those who have come along side of us to carry our burden. We seek so much prayer and we have given up great prayers of thanks for those who have the gifts to aid us in this journey.

Our prayers for this "month 11" are not limited to but include:
Fund raising
support team at all churches who provide funds
Our teammates the Koonces and Crowsons who will be moving to Rwanda in December
Our teammates the Reeves and Millers who are in Togo and will be on furlough next summer
Our children. We have family meetings now and the topics are usually about what they are going through.

Thank you all.
Brian and Kristin

You Give Me Joy That's Unspeakable...

Now, this is not the image you would expect to follow this title. In many Christian circles one would expect to be scolded or mocked when associating Joy with a material object but I say "blahh" to that. As you can see my boat is not one that a normal person would take pride in and so the shear ugliness of it protects me from becoming proud but without doubt it has been the focal point for much of my joy over the last 2 weeks.

This boat was bought completely without my blessing and against my better judgment. It has brought financial pain since I have spent almost as much keeping it floating (literally) and running as I did to purchase it. It has brought physical pain at the hands of my brother and brother-in-law who find their joy in turning the 75 foot rope that tethers me to the boat into a slingshot (by the way, I fully understand the principle of water being a solid surface at high speed). Yet, over the last two weeks it has brought such joy into our lives.

My brother and I have not had the greatest relationship over the last 10 years. We have been separated by distance both physically and spiritually. Over the last 10 years of our lives he and his family have not visited us once but in the last year they have been here twice. The most recent occasion was two weeks ago. We took them to the lake and spent the day on the beach and on the boat. It was such a great time of healing and joy. We had time to communicate. We enjoyed being boys again like we did as children. I had the chance to see that there was a seed of faith growing in him again and that maybe he was looking for nourishment in this visit. Oddly enough, I was nourished more than I expected. I praise God for this.

This past weekend we took our boat and went to the lake and beach again (now our favorite thing to do); this time with our dear friends the Drewetts. We have missed them since they moved to Austin. As we all were enjoying our day I could not help but wonder how many more times we would enjoy such great friends and how many wonderful memories we would make with them and so many others like them before we move to Rwanda. I was actually getting down about it and feeling depressed but then I started to think. This was opportunity to see the joy of the moment. Over the last few months I have been focusing on the future and not the present. I have been praying for peace and not only has God given me this but in the last few weeks he has given me great Joy.

I ask for prayers for joy in the moment. I have a habit of "planning joy" but that does not work with four kids. So I ask to see the joy that is in my own house with my own children.
I ask for prayer for my brother and his family and for his walk with God. He has known a close walk with God in the past and I pray he will long for it again.
Sounds silly but I pray that my boat will go all summer without failure (as it has every summer since buying it) and that it will continue to bring me and my family and my great friends joy.

Thank you

I wanted to thank each of you for praying for me and my family. We realize that we have great limitations in our abilities and personalities. Through you prayers and kind words we have found much peace in our decision and as always realize that God is God and he makes us what he wants us to be. Kristin and I have asked each other again this week, "is this the thing to do". The answer is always "yes". We are excited to be chosen for this great task and we constantly pray that we will have the strength to do this task. We know that we are not called to Rwanda to fail. We may have to measure our success by God's standards, which may be a whole new lesson for us, but we will not fail. God is great!!

We are in a valley now. We see behind us the great peaks of excitement that was the day we decided and the day we sat in our home with the Koonces and gave the rest of our lives to this work and ahead of us is the great day we will leave for Rwanda with our family. In the middle is anxiousness, frustration, waiting, stress, fund raising, and temptation to give up. I told Kristin that I hope the success and the value of what we do will be equal to the level of temptation and physical despair. It is obvious that Satan does not want this because he is trying hard to blind us from our goal.

Thank you for your prayers.