So I set out last night to begin my 24 hours of fast. Now, in Ethiopia, going without food for 24 hours would just be a part of life. But here in America (remember, I'm a metabolism specialist) it is more like a major event. In the most extreme cases people are starving but in the world that I am a part of, dropping 1000 calories is considered fasting. In my daily life I not only have to cut out three meals in order to fast but have to give up at least half a dozen snack times. I probably gave up 2200 calories and that is on the bottom end of the spectrum.
As I awoke, I was aware that I had not eaten dinner the night before but was fine. By 9 am, I was hungry. By 11:00 I was tired and hungry. By 2pm I had missed dinner the night before, breakfast and lunch today. I was beginning to get a headache and cranky. By 3pm I was not sure if I could keep the frustration hidden that I was feeling about having to keep seeing patients. I arrived home about 430 pm, had a terrible headache and just could not keep my hands from shaking. Again, I was not in the best mood and Kristin was clearly in the same mood as I. She had clearly been suffering today.
Through the day, I slowly began to think, "Why does God call us to fast". It is hard to say why this is the case for everyone but for me, I began to realize that he desired to show me what he wanted to be in my life. He wants to be my nourishment and my provider. He wants to go with us to the wilderness, provide for us and bring us out stronger. And when we come out and consume his greatness (as we consume food at the end of a fast) it is so sweet, so filling.
As I reflect on the time Jesus spent fasting (Matthew 4) in the wilderness, I think, WOW, he fasted for a month. I was in pain after a single day. Then I think of the temptations he was hit with at the end. At the end of 40 days, I would have given my left arm, maybe my right arm for a loaf of bread and all I had to do was turn a stone into bread. Why at the end of all this did Jesus have the strength to withstand this temptation. He had been in the wilderness with the Father and God had provided. In my fast I ask God to provide for me and my family this month as we seek to fulfill his will.
When I look at the way Jesus fasted I am drawn to Isaiah where the Lord's people are obviously proud of their fasting and God scolds them for their obvious lack of commitment in the task. He then instructs them as to the kind of fasting he intended for them.
"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
7 Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—
when you see the naked, to clothe them,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
8 Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
9 Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
10 and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
11 The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
12 Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings.
13 "If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath
and from doing as you please on my holy day,
if you call the Sabbath a delight
and the LORD's holy day honorable,
and if you honor it by not going your own way
and not doing as you please or speaking idle words,
14 then you will find your joy in the LORD,
and I will cause you to ride in triumph on the heights of the land
and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob."
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.
After reading this, I did not fast in a way God intended. I have been spoken to and will have to continue to seek God's instruction and work harder at using my suffering to lift up others.
We have sought the Lord today and he has found us. He desires this in from all of us:
Give so much of yourselves to others that you have to accept less in your own life.
In this, he will fulfill us and answer our prayers.
prayer requests:
Continue to pray for Cashes in Uganda and those affected by the Ebola virus
Continue to pray for the Koonces and their final push to move on from God's work in Togo and transition to Rwanda
Kristin and I are planning a trip to Uganda to visit the Cashes and to see Rwanda to prepare our hearts for support of the Koonces. I have fear of leaving work for so long and losing so much revenue that it is hard to give in to this need.
Pray for my family to continue to boldly seek God's instruction and direction for us and to not only hear the words he has for us but the intent. In the old testament God continually scolds the Israelites for their intense application of the law without actually seeing his real intended blessing for them.
